The mysterious letter

Let me tell you what happened yesterday because it made me laugh, and actually, I'm still laughing.

I go to Informed Delivery on USPS to see what mail I am getting delivered that day. A strange envelope from "Clanton" Alabama was pictured. It was self stamped, hand written, and from an insurance agent it seemed.

My mind instantly wondered how this person found me, got my address, and why they were mailing me a letter.

What could it be? 

I know no one in Clanton, Alabama (Clanton is located just above my hometown of Selma) anymore and I haven't been there since 2010 or before. So what the fuck?

Then it hit me.

Aunt Martha.

Yea she's dead but she could have had REGRETS and decided to leave me something (even just a letter). Then again, she did take everything from me when my parents died so she may be mailing me a last fuck you as well.

I paced. 

I worried. 

Then I realized... She is dead.

I shouldn't fear the actions or words of a dead woman.

Instantly I felt a peace wash over me. I was sitting in the sun and I felt, for the first time, eased of the burden of her hatred. And I felt like my Grandaddy would have been proud that I said those words "I will not fear the words of a dead woman who didn't care about me when she was alive". I felt him smile like he said "that's my girl".

I didn't think about it again for hours... 

Then the mail was delivered.

What was it? 

I held the envelope in my hands sitting on the steps to my deck. I smiled and opened it...

It was JUNK mail.

This insurance agent in Clanton, Alabama obviously doesn't know Alabama geography at all and doesn't know where my town is on the map... 4 almost 5 hours drive from her location. Yet, she sent me a flyer wanting me to get insurance (at double the price I am paying for now, might I add) with her.

I felt there was a lesson to be learned in this.

I didn't let it worry me all day when usually something like this would. I let go of the worry and stress letting what would be unfold naturally.

It also was a slap of reality to think once again Aunt Martha is dead... And it hurt to know again I meant nothing to her in life let alone in death. I looked for a last redeeming quality in someone who didn't have one because she never regretted her actions toward me or my parents... Or anyone for that matter.

Me wanting to see the good in her... I heard my grandaddy's words again replay in my memories "they don't care about anyone or anything but themselves. That's why you are burden with a big heart. To carry the entire weight of love this family should have... Except it's all in you and none in them".

What a lesson to be learned. I thanked the universe again for always smacking the back of my head. And thanks to my late Grandaddy for always having words in my memories that make me feel like I am not wrong for being the big hearted fool I am... For wanting to see the good and love in people where it was never present.