Music Review: Beyonce - Texas Hold ‘em

 Here the song HERE (if you WANT to torture yourself)

Martha’s Thoughts:

I ain’t holding back what I think about this right now. I make no apologies for what I’m about to say and I don’t care if any of y’all think it’s racist what I’m about to say. 

So here comes Beyoncé attempting to sing a country song here’s the thing, though, it ain’t country. At no point in that song, even with banjos playing in the background, at no moment in space and time did that song sound like something a country music star would sing. 

Now I know Dolly Parton endorsed her. Bless Dolly‘s heart. She’s good to everybody, even though they don’t deserve it. But Beyoncé should stay in her lane. 

She ain’t country.

She wouldn’t know TRUE country if it bit her in the ass!

However, Country music today isn’t TRUE country music anymore and hasn’t been for a long time which is why now we have Beyoncé out there trying to make a country album. 

The old-school country is something her and her kind could never touch. She doesn’t have the country music core like Johnny Cash, Waylon Jennings, Hank Williams, and other greats. She’s just a black girl who put on a cowboy hat and sang a song very badly. 

I mean come on… a Lexus? A real country singer would’ve said PICKUP! 🛻 

You can call me racist for saying it, but it had to be said!

🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢

0/5

These are the lyrics …. 

This ain't Texas (woo), ain't no hold 'em (hey)
So lay your cards down, down, down, down
So park your Lexus (woo) and throw your keys up (hey)
Stick around, 'round, 'round, 'round, 'round (stick around)
And I'll be damned if I can't slow dance with you
Come pour some sugar on me, honey too
It's a real life boogie and a real life hoedown
Don't be a bitch, come take it to the floor now, woo, huh (woo)

There's a tornado (there's a tornado) in my city (in my city)
In the basement (in the basement), that shit ain't pretty (shit ain't pretty)
Rugged whiskey (rugged whiskey) 'cause we survivin' ('cause we survivin')
Off red cup kisses, sweet redemption, passin' time, yeah

Ooh, one step to the right
We headin' to the dive bar we always thought was nice
Ooh, run me to the left
Then spin me in the middle, boy, I can't read your mind

This ain't Texas (woo), ain't no hold 'em (hey)
So lay your cards down, down, down, down
So park your Lexus (woo) and throw your keys up (hey)
Stick around, 'round, 'round, 'round, 'round (stick around)
And I'll be damned if I can't slow dance with you
Come pour some sugar on me, honey too
It's a real life boogie and a real life hoedown
Don't be a bitch, come take it to the floor now (woo)

And I'll be damned if I cannot dance with you
Come pour some liquor on me, honey too
It's a real life boogie and a real life hoedown
Don't be a bitch, come take it to the floor now (woo)

Woo-hoo
Woo-hoo
Woo-hoo

There's a heatwave (there's a heatwave) coming at us (coming at us)
Too hot to think straight (too hot to think straight)
Too cold to panic (cold to panic)
All of the problems just feel dramatic (just feel dramatic)
And now we're runnin' to the first spot that we find, yeah

Ooh, one step to the right
We headin' to the dive bar we always thought was nice
Ooh, you run to the left
Just with me in the middle, boy, I can't read your mind

This ain't Texas (woo), ain't no hold 'em (hey)
So lay your cards down, down, down, down, oh
So park your Lexus (hey), throw your keys up (hey)
Stick around, 'round, 'round, 'round, 'round (stick around)
And I'll be damned if I cannot dance with you
Come pour some sugar on me, honey, too
It's a real life boogie and a real life hoedown
Don't be a bitch, come take it to the floor now (woo)

And I'll be damned if I cannot dance with you
Come pour some liquor on me honey, too
It's a real life boogie and a real life hoedown
Don't be a-, come take it to the floor now, ooh

Take it to the floor now, ooh
Hoops, spurs, boots
To the floor now, ooh
Tuck, back, oops (ooh, ooh, ooh)
Shoot
Come take it to the floor now, ooh
And I'll be damned if I cannot dance with you
Baby, pour that sugar and liquor on me too
Furs, spurs, boots
Solargenic, photogenic, shoot